i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
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