We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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