i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
