**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize