hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
