Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
