Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
