you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
