Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
