Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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