i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
