Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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