dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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