Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
