Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
