What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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