Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
