so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
