U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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