I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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