Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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