This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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