Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it's like heaven, but drunker
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
