You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
