Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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