Hey man sorry I got all grabby
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
