at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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