ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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