eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
