your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
