No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
