nut hugger
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Panties = found
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
