did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
