I have demons in me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
