Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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