I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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