So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
