This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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