ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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