Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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