Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
