He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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