I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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