once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize