yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
