she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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