All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize