sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
