Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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