i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
