it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
