Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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