i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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