My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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