I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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