dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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