You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
