apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
