why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
