Do you still have your period?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
