8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
