eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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