he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
