I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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