Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
