Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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